Monday, 11 January 2016

How To ... Handle a Break Up

Break ups can be rubbishy. Whether you leave on good terms or bad. Whether you end it or they do. Whether you were together 2 months or 2 years. You're bound to feel at least a little sad and just not your best . After breaking up with my boyfriend of two and a half years recently, I've done my share of feeling sad. But there are definitely ways to make the experience easier and ensure a much more positive outcome in the long run.



Step One : Do what you need to do , but don't hurt anyone .

You're very likely to be upset, hurt or even angry and there is no point ignoring your emotions. Take the time to feel them fully . Give yourself the time you need because if you don't feel the pain now , it's going to drag out A LOT longer and we don't want that . But make sure you handle your emotion in a healthy way, for example if you're feeling angry , go for a swim or a run . If your sad, don't get drunk, cry and cuddle up in bed watching your favorite tv series :)

Step Two : Steer clear of social media 

It's probably best to steer clear of places like Facebook or Instagram because ,
a) If you're upset you don't want to post anything you'll regret or might hurt the other person in your break up
b) Your ex might not be being as considerate and may leave things on social media that could upset you , you've got enough to deal with right now . An argument over a drunk status isn't what you need

Step Three : Surround yourself with the people who love you 

The last thing you need at the minute is complete isolation. It's important to be around people who understand what's going on and make you feel good about yourself. No matter how rubbish you're feeling, there are people who still love you and they probably have a clearer head than you right now so listen to them when they tell you you're loved .

Step Four : Know when it's time to get up 

There comes a time when you need to pick yourself up, have a long shower , put some nice lipstick on, dress up and make yourself feel nice. You deserve better than being sad forever . Call a friend and ask if they want to go shopping or do something you enjoy. Let yourself feel good :)

Step Five : Self Date 

Take yourself out somewhere nice . Go to the local cafe for a hot chocolate and sit and read your book, Take yourself on a shopping trip, Go to the zoo ! I don't mind where you go , just spend some time getting to know yourself again and becoming more comfortable with who you are. You can lose bits of yourself when you're in a relationship for a long time and become reliant on somebody else to know you're beautiful . So this is a really good time to start practicing self-love . I'll link to a blog by Rainbow-Rose Blossom here , she's a brilliant woman with a lot of valuable things to say on self love !

What are your tips for handling a break up ? I'd love to hear them in the comments :)

Stay Strong <3 Stay Smiley :) 

Lots of love, Marianne xxx

I thought I'd leave this funny song here by Carrie Hope Fletcher on " How NOT To Handle A Break Up " It's pretty much garenteed to at least make you giggle :)


25 comments:

  1. These are wonderful tips, Marianne! I think you definitely need some time to yourself to do whatever you need to do to grieve a bit. Surrounding yourself with positive, loving people always helps get me through a rough time, and watching my favourite TV show like Friends to help distract me.
    It seems you're doing just wonderful and I know you're gonna be just fine :)
    -Lor // acozyspace.wordpress.com

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    1. No matter who broke up with who, I think you're right, everybody needs some time to recover :) I'm all like, Rom-com, chocolate, duvet, sorted. Haha :) You;ve got to make the most of things and everything happens for a reason !

      lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  2. I love these tips, when I went through a break up steering clear of social media was one of the hardest things to do because I wanted to see if he did post anything but when I started avoiding it, it made me feel so much better xx

    www.adaliascloset.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I completely agree, it is difficult but it's definitely for the best ! It's simply not healthy to let yourself become obsessed with what the other persons thinking and feeling when really it's a time you need to focus on yourself :)

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  3. Great tips! Through my last breakup I made sure to stay busy through work and spending time with friends. It's a great support system and it's good to keep yourself busy! If it's the case where you're constantly stalking their social media it's also best to just remove them off everything- that way you don't feel the need to keep tabs!

    Lindsey Elyse | lindseyginge

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    1. Yeah it's best to keep focused on something unrelated because often after a relationship you've lost some of what it's like to just be you and I think it's important to get that back ! I find things like self dates really helpful ! You're right, it's best just to steer clear :)

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  4. Such great tips Marianne! :) I couldn't agree more about what you said about losing bits of yourself and how it's important to love yourself. It's so easy to get lost in the idea of having someone else make you happy but that's not the only source of happiness that there is. I had a break up with one of my bestest friends last year and it was really hard on me but I had to learn how to be okay with what happened and be my own person again. The pain doesn't always go away really fast but time really does heal all wounds. I personally still have days where I'll be sad but I know that time will help mend those feelings. I really hope that you are doing okay <3 I was sad to hear that you and you're boyfriend parted ways but I know that things will get better and like you said, taking time for yourself will really help you feel better <3 You're so strong! :) and I just love how you always keep a positive attitude on your blog to brighten others people's days despite what you may be going through because I know that it's not always easy to do so but you're just such a kind, caring, and genuine person. You always light up my day :) I hope you are having a great week so far :) Take care! x

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    1. It's something that has been really important to me for a while and the difficult thing is to stil practice self love and self date and all the rest while in relationships ( I feel like this is Rainbows area of expertise but hey I'll give it a go hehe ) because I think we become lazy in a way when in relationships and far to reliant on the other person to be happy, so I think it's important to build the foundations while single :) Time heals and we have to let it hurt to fully recover :) I'm doing pretty well and am started to feel much better and a lot happier in myself :) I never want to project anything negative onto my blog but the way I see it it's either a good experience or a learning curve, now the break up wasn't a good experience obviously , so it must be a learning curve and therefore I will learn and it's important to me to share what I learn with my blog :) Thank you so so much honey that really means the world :)

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  5. Ahhh dating...love, hardships, and just generally shit. This why I hate dating...just don't tell my boyfriend that.

    To be quite honest, break ups are the most painful thing you can experience in a general life. Heartbreak is universal. Breaking up after a longterm relationship sucks, especially if it ended badly. To me, spending time to yourself and knowing you have people surrounding you who love you make it all worthwhile. I know when I experience a break up, I get highly involved in things. That's why I started a blog x <3

    xx Bash | H E Y   B A S H | bloglovin'

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    1. Haha don't worry I won't let him know ;) They're not wonderful but I guess everything happens for a reason so we shall remain positive and keep moving forward ... or at least do my best not to fall backwards hehe :) I think its important to spend time getting to know yourself again after a break up and blogging it defiinitely a great way to do that :)

      lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  6. Marianne, these are great tips! You have such a healthy, positive outlook on every situation and I love that! No doubt we've all been through a rough breakup and I love how gracefully you handle it! It truly speaks to your character and what a great person you are. I think the biggest tip is definitely being around people who support you, whether that be family or friends. It makes you feel good to know that you are loved! Love this post! XO -Kim

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    1. Thank you honey ! Well there's no point being miserable for to long, if I'm hones I get bored when I'm sad :) That's so kind of you to say it really means the world :) You're right, I try to only keep people in my life who make me feel good in general, lifes to short to feel rubbish :)

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  7. wow this is an amazing blog post !! love these kinds of blogs !! keep up the good work :

    check out my new post :) http://myroutinesjade.blogspot.co.uk/

    Jade

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    1. Thank you ! Have a great day :)

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  8. You give the best advice Marianne! <3 <3 <3 This is such healthy advice because it so easy for it to turn ugly and I would say a lot of us fall into dealing with things like break ups in such unhealthy ways because they hurt so much. One of things that scares me so much about falling in love is the losing my self in a relationship part however I do feel grateful to have been single for so long to have learnt about myself and to know I can do things on my own and that if I do lose myself I have that to look back on to. I just wished all us blogging people lived close by and we could all come over to your place and have a girly day laughing, crying and being silly. Big hugs and love to you Marianne, we are all here for you and you do such an incredible job at inspiring people and sharing positivity <3 <3 <3 Thank you so very much for mentioning me, I feel so humbled! <3

    You are truly beautiful and wonderful Marianne! <3 <3 <3 xoxo

    http://rainbow-roseblossom.blogspot.co.nz/

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    1. I think it's so important to handle difficult situations in healthy and safe ways because you need to look after yourself not beat yourself up and hurt yourself :) It is scary but I fully intend inmy next relationship to continue practising self love ( most of which I have learnt off you and am very grateful for ) by still self dating and making sure my happiness doesn't rely on the other person :) It would be so so great ! Then we could all have meet ups and blogging days hehe :) Thank you so much for all your lovely support :)

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  9. great post
    would you like to follow each other?
    I'll follow back after it

    www.miharujulie.com

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    1. Thank you honey :) Of course I would !

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  10. Wonderful post and advice! I think everything we'll be fine when you're with friends and family!

    xo
    http://thepinkporcelaindoll.blogspot.it

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    1. I'm really glad you liked the post ! Yes friends are definitely important in times like these :)

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  11. Sorry to hear about the break up. I love the idea of avoiding social media, it's a time to be with yourself (or it is for me) but then it makes things so much harder when everyone else gets involved or starts asking questions you don't want to answer.

    I always think it's a great time to put your time and energy into a hobby!

    Love this post :)

    Katie | http://katiecupoftea.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. I'm doing okay don't worry :) I think it's important to keep away from problem causing things like social media, you tend to have enough on your plate when going through break ups :) Exactely, I fully intend to learn to knit aha <3

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  12. I like this post, definitely surround yourself with friends and I think keeping busy is good, I went through a phase of reading loads of relationship books when I broke up with my ex and that actually helped!

    Shelise | SHELISES WORLD

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    1. You're right keeping busy is a good plan ! I'm always reading books about relationships because I'm not particularly into fantasy books more chicklets aha :) Thanks for the advice !

      Lots of love,Marianne xxx

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  13. Sorry to hear about your break up!

    I really love this post, I definitely could have used with some of your advise about 2 years ago when I went through a bad breakup. I like the idea of staying clear of social media, because me seeing his posts and his new girlfriend 2 months later DID NOT help things. Surrounding yourself with friends and family is definitely one of the best ideas, I couldn't have got through the break-up on my own. Before I started dating Jamie I made sure I knew who I was, and that I was happy with myself and in myself.. I didn't want to have to depend on someone else to make me happy. Jamie adds to the happiness, but I was happy before we started dating so I think it is a really good idea - I like how you have named this "self date".

    Later! ♥

    Shannon xxx

    http://shernanansworld.blogspot.co.uk/

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